PDA

🌟 What is PDA?

PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance. It is a profile of autism that involves an intense avoidance of everyday demands and expectations. This is not simple defiance or refusal. The avoidance comes from high levels of anxiety and a need to feel in control.

PDA is not a separate diagnosis but is increasingly recognised within the autism spectrum. Many autistic people with a PDA profile do not respond to typical strategies and need a different approach based on collaboration, flexibility, and respect.

🧠 What does PDA look like?

People with a PDA profile may:

• Avoid or resist ordinary demands, even those they want to do

• Use distraction, negotiation, humour, or role play to avoid tasks

• Seem controlling or oppositional, especially in high-anxiety situations

• Have intense emotions and fast-changing mood states

• Find praise, rewards, or instructions overwhelming

• Experience high levels of social awareness and creativity

These behaviours are not about being manipulative or attention-seeking. They are expressions of a nervous system under pressure and a need to feel emotionally and physically safe.

🧩 Strengths and Positives

People with a PDA profile often show:

• Strong empathy and emotional insight

• Rich imagination and role play

• Problem-solving and quick thinking

• Deep curiosity

• Ability to connect deeply when trust is built

With the right support, individuals with PDA can build trusting relationships and thrive in environments that value autonomy and connection.

🧒 PDA in Children

Children with a PDA profile may struggle in traditional school settings where routines, instructions, and rewards are heavily enforced. They may appear fine one moment and then suddenly overwhelmed the next. These children are often misunderstood as being “naughty” or “wilful,” which leads to escalating conflict and breakdowns in trust.

Supportive strategies include:

• Offering choices rather than instructions

• Using indirect language and humour

• Allowing more autonomy and collaboration

• Reducing pressure without removing structure

• Prioritising relationships over compliance

Trying to “force through” demands usually increases anxiety and leads to shutdown or crisis.

⚠️ PDA is Often Misunderstood

Many families report being dismissed or blamed before PDA is recognised. Some professionals are still unfamiliar with the profile, and others mistake it for oppositional behaviour or parenting issues.

Early recognition and respectful support make a huge difference in long-term outcomes.

🤝 Understanding and Respect

PDA is not about bad behaviour. It is about anxiety, overwhelm, and a need for control to feel safe. Traditional behaviourist approaches often fail and can cause harm.

Families need professionals who listen, adapt, and trust the expertise of those living with PDA every day.

📚 Want to Learn More?

PDA is a central focus in many of our Neurodivergence Connect events. Hear directly from parents of children with PDA, explore practical strategies, and learn why traditional systems often fall short. Real inclusion starts with real understanding.